How is it already April? I look outside and see barren trees and yellow grass. That isn't exactly what I picture when I think of spring. When I think of spring, there is green grass, a plethora of flowers, some sunshine and unfortunately, some rain. It has been hard to appreciate the season. It may have warmed up a bit since the frigid weather we have experienced lately in the last few weeks, but who says this will last. There is too much that depends on Spring's good weather. Spring is the time of weddings, picnics, field days, and of course, graduations. It seems surreal to think that in less than two months, Stonehill's Class of 2014 will be graduating. Wasn't that just me? Didn't I just graduate? 10 months later and I am still missing Stonehill like crazy. Living in such close proximity, there are times where it feels as if I didn’t graduate. If I want to go to mass at Stonehill, I can. If I want to go to a sports event, I can. Come June however, I will no longer be so accessible to those things. I was reluctant that living so close to Stonehill would be a good thing, but I think I needed it. The memories I have from it are more vivid this way.
I look at the past 10 months and often wonder if I have accomplished much in that period of time. Almost a whole year has gone by, and what do I have to show for it? What have I accomplished? Have I made steps forward, or I have stepped backward? I often have a difficult time with recognizing my achievements, and I know that I have had some over the past 10 months. It just has taken me a while to actually believe it. In the past 10 months, I have became a better cook. Before this year, there wasn't much I could make without messing it up completely. Today, I can say I can cook a mean scrimp scampi and pot roast. I have started paying my student loans, which is very terrifying but is a good feeling at the same time. I have made new friends, strengthened current friendships and reconnected with old friends that I haven't interacted with in 10 + years. I have survived and enjoyed 10 months of teaching despite the stress and difficulties that come along the way. I have learned so much about myself and learned more about others. Lastly, I have figured out things I want, and things I don't. I have decided that I will do whatever it takes to travel in the next few years. My happiness depends on it.There is so much that has happened this year that has made me reminisce on all the amazing places that I have been in my lifetime, but I still feel incomplete and want more. I have realized that I don't think I could ever survive an office job. I enjoy being on my feet too much and the constant interaction of the school environment.
I often have to remind myself of my achievements, that no matter how small they are, they are significant. I may not know where I will be come September, but it is okay. I am prepared to attack these next two months. I know that when the next Stonehill graduation arrives, I can say “ I truly have accomplished a lot in the past year”. I know that as each year goes by, I will have more things to be proud of. If anything, this past year has allowed me to see the strength in myself, and has given me confidence and that is an achievement I can be proud of. That is all I can really ask for. It is a better feeling knowing I feel this way outside of Stonehill.
This spring, I am going to take more time to reflect on what I have done and what I want to do in the future. For now, I am just going to wait patiently for the flowers to grow and appreciate the spring that is evolving.